My FANTASTIC WRITING

     the mirror in the attic

(do not read unless you can deal with scary details) 

planning -a girl with her friends who finds a bad magic mirror and gets sucked away

Sequence 1-going up to the attic with friends finding out the mirror is magic  

Sequence 2-gets sucked through the mirror and figures out your in a cave with a mirror I walk out into a mysterious door

Sequence 3-I  walk through the door and there's a long long pathway and find dwarf with a knife

Sequence 4-start walking away it kills Alice and stabs me in the leg Alana helps me back I survive

Wait what who would want to read about a mirror well wait and see it's not what you think.

I went up to the attic with my friends Alana and Alice for my birthday.The attic is a small room with birch planks and no windows and there's a mirror in the corner.There were lots of boxes and no way out except for a little hidden door that you can only open from down stairs. It was awesome up there, then…………. I found the mirror. It wasn't  just any boring mirror it was so gorgeous with, rubies and a jewel I don't recognise. I touch the mirror and expect a cool cold feel but instead my hand goes right through it ,so I called my best friends Alana and Alice over and tell them they think I' m crazy so I made them touch it and both of their hands go through so Alana said “let's go no time to waste” no one said no ,because with Alana when I comes up with an idea it has to happen.I was about to run  but all of a sudden I couldn't move and very slowly I was disintegrating, I glanced at my friends and they where staring wide eyed at me then it happened.....

 they started disintegrating just like me but I only caught a glimpse before all I could see was white then I was in a totally different world and their was a cave but the cave was mud and surprisingly staying up then along came Alana then Alice we looked around there was no way out and as soon as she moved the wall moved like there was a big bubble Around them so they made it through  And found a door they opened the door with a lot of strength they made it through and they saw a pathway it led to a faraway place so they went and it took a very long time and as they where walking Alana said “hey Brittany can we please go back now” and as always Alana took lead and said      “we can't turn back now,we could become rich or we could go back and stay normal.so what do you pick become rich and live in a mansion or be poor and starve".and I have to admit that was pretty good convincing so silently Alice stomped behind us.

As we where walking I noticed a few things 1.the floor was getting a bit crackly and 2. The ground was a bit blood red rusty colour .then when we got to the end there was a small statue of a gnome with a white beard and hair it also had a bright red Santa hat with pompom at the end with a wrinkly face and such alive deep blue eyes, then there was a knife that had the same red as the hat and the bricks then it blinked I was so mesmerised then just like that it was so fast the knife was flying at me but missed and hit poor Alice right in the neck. then whenever her heart beat a spray of blood would come up like a whale hole. Then again the knife was flying but at me this time I quickly lifted up my leg to block it from hitting my stomach the pain was thrillingly painful (BTW I do karate) so Alana very fastly picked me up an ran up the pathway with me in her hand it took 1 hour just to get to the door we very quickly jumped through the mirror and I heard screaming and realised that it was me. Alana was panting I was screaming and Alice oh poor Alice I can barely think about her but she was d..de..dead. As the screaming slowly faded my mum came and took me to the hospital.on the way there Alana explained what happened.my Mum didn't believe her.

this is my writing that took to days to get right and still can be improved so you can help me improve  by saying how you think I can improve next time so how do think I can improve?